Triumphs or truths?

I have heard this phrase a lot: "Blogs aren't real. People only post their triumphs."

It's true that I post a lot of positive things. And yes, there are a lot of things that I leave out. But that doesn't make what I post any less real. I have plenty of things I could post about and choose not to. I could post about what a horrible mother I feel like I am most of the time. I could post about how much I hate how much my husband travels and is gone. I could post about how I worry that something will happen to him and I will be left raising four kids on my own, or that he will lose his job and we will not be able to make ends meet. I could post about how lonely I feel most of the time. I could post about how I have been hurt deeply by people close to me. I could post about how I feel like I don't have any close friends that I can count on. I could post about how I feel jealous of people with long-standing best friends that they can call no matter what. I could post about how I can never quite seem to say the right thing to people. Or I could post about how I have never gotten over my inferiority complex that I developed being constantly made fun of from 2nd-8th grade. I could post about how much I miss my family and how lonely I feel every holiday spent away from them, or just when things get really hard, and I feel the most depressed.

But I don't.

I don't because overall, I am a positive person. Or at least I try to be. I try to be someone that people want to be around. Someone who uplifts and inspires. I post about things that make me happy, and things that I want to remember.

I don't post triumphs. I post what is true to me.

Finally!

I finally finished some of my projects! I have had some white shirts cut out since I think May, and finally got around to sewing them! One is for my Addy and one is for my sweet little nephew Lukas. Soory it took so long! And Christina, your baby's shirt and hat are finally finished! Yay! With everything that happened with Sean, my projects kind of went on the back burner for a while. (Oh and I made it short sleeves because I was afraid of the long sleeves not being long enough. I just really want it to fit!) I have never made this shirt pattern in anything but white, and I absolutely love it! Maybe I will have to make one for Addy...


Here are a couple of other bags I made:

This one for my awesome neighbor Jeannette (thanks to Lindsay and Nicole for helping me find fabric!):

And this one for my awesome friend Vanessa:

And I made this dress for my friend Tiffani's baby:

I lost my favorite baby dress pattern and I am so sad. I have no idea if I loaned it out or what. Hopefully it turns up. So I had to settle for this one. which is cute, too, but the smallest size on this pattern is still pretty big so she'll have to wait a while to wear it. Does anyone have any recommendations of a baby dress pattern they use? I need a new one.

And what a nice mom I am. Sean has been praying for weeks for it to snow so he could have fun in the snow and make a snowman. So I went out for 5 minutes and even with gloves on froze my fingers numb to make this tiny little snowman with Emily and Sean. They loved it.

Here is the sing-off video mentioned in the previous blogpost. My cool new camera came with a program where I can change video formats, so I did that and now I could post this video. Apparently the other file was too large. So here it is in lesser quality, but oh well. I love how Seany's reindeer ears shake when he nods his head. Totally cracks me up.

Merry Christmas!!!

My December so far...

As soon as we got back from Thanksgiving in California, we had to set up the Christmas decorations. The kids were so excited! Aside from the lights and tinsel, they essentially decorated the tree themselves. I kind of really like it that way, because it takes all the work out of it, and then when they pull ornaments off, I don't have to get mad. Last year they must have had a new arrangement of ornaments daily. This year, surprisingly, they have, for the most part, left them alone. Even Addy.

Here they all are decorating the tree:

After decorating the tree, we realized we didn't have a star. Turns out Sean had pulled over the tree 3 times 2 years ago and on the last one, shattered the star. Oops. Then last year, we went to California, so although we set up the tree, we never replaced the star. So we made a family trip to Walmart to pick out a new one. While we were there, we ran into some friends who happened to be getting the same thing, and we even picked out the same star.

Also that week, I went a little crazy with Christmas baking and got my Christmas plates out to my neighbors early this year. The only drawback: Christmas seems like such a long time away after you do that.

My mom, sister and brother pooled some money together for me this year for Christmas to get me a luggage set, you know, in case I ever decide to go anywhere. When I went Black Friday shopping with my mom and sister, we found an awesome set at an uncommonly good price, which left money for me to do with whatever I wanted. So long as I only spent it on me. Well, I found an amazing deal on a digital video camera and accessories, and I am so excited.

Here is my first test with my new toy:

And I thought this was cute. Music and rhythm moves this little guy's soul:

Addison likes to walk around the house doing this fake laugh. I think it is hilarious:



This past week was "Spirit week" at the girls' school. When I picked Liah up from school on Monday, she was so excited that the next day was going to be 1800s day, and she had an outfit all planned out because "she knows what they wear because aunt Lorie took her to a museum in Yakima that had dress-ups at it!" And she wanted me to make her a costume. That night. I checked the sheet when I got home and was relieved beyond compare when I saw that it said 80s day. not 1800s day. LOL. 80s? Now THAT I can do!

I crimped both the girls hair and Liah wore leggings and Emily wore layered socks and cuffed pants. Yeah, I can still totally do that without thinking about it. Oh what were they thinking in the 80s?? (sorry, if you still cuff your pants...) Thanks to my favorite sister for teaching me THAT fashion statement. I remember one family reunion where my mom crimped my hair, and I felt, oh, so gorgeous.

Wednesday was Wacky Wednesday, and oh, were the girls excited. We went a little wacky.

Emily asked me to paint her nails, so I did, and while they were drying, I had her positioned just so, and while my back was turned, I hear: "Chocolate??" I turn around to see this:

It's official, I have the biggest goober ever. (if you can't tell, she is pointing to her mouth, signaling me to "insert chocolate here") lol...

Sean chillin' with his dad:

Here's a cute video of Addy and Sean being Santa Claus. If you listen carefully, you can hear Addy say "ho, ho, ho" at the beginning. Oh, I love that kid.

Sean came home from preschool on Thursday wearing these:

So, so cute, Ms. Kristen. I love it! Little did you know the sing-off that was about to take place in the Meredith household.

[pretend there is a video here of Sean and Emily having a Rudolph the red-nose reindeer sing-off. blogger=lame and won't upload it!!!]


I found this sign at Dollar Tree, and had to get it. I love it.

Well my biggest news by far is...........................................

No, I am not pregnant... I am no longer blind!!!

Goodbye contacts and glasses!

I had LASIK done on both of my eyes on Friday! I was previously 20/400 in my right eye and worse in my left, but as of yesterday, I am seeing 20/20!!! I don't need contacts or glasses to drive anymore. I still can't believe I can see. It is truly remarkable and unbelievable what modern advancements in technology can do! I am so glad to live in this age where this is available! It is nothing short of miraculous.

[As a side note... They give you an anti-anxiety drug about 45 minutes before you get your surgery done, for obvious reasons, since you're awake during the procedure, etc. I guess I called my friend after I had my surgery to let her know how it went, and apparently I sounded really awesome, though I have no recollection of said conversation. Thank you so much to my friends that watched my kids for me so I could have this done.... and yeah... sorry you saw me after my surgery too... lol. I felt great, I don't know what you guys are talking about... lol]

(p.s. If you are reading this on facebook, you will need to visit my blog http://amymommyof4.blogspot.com/ to view the videos)

Thanksgiving 2009

This year we went to Northern California for Thanksgiving. We drove down Wednesday after Liah and Emily got out of school and got to my Grandma's house in Durham at about midnight. We spent Thanksgiving with my parents and my sister. My grandma got to leave the hospital for a few hours to come have Thanksgiving dinner with us and get a good shower in. My mom and sister helped her get ready after that, and Liah painted my gramma's toenails for her. I thought it was sweet.

The picture above is my sister, Gramma and me. She won't let people take pictures of her, so we snuck up on her and took one anyway. It's for posterity. Besides, Lorie did Gramma's hair, and she had painted toe nails, so why not have a picture. That's what I always say.


The girls had fun playing "Go Fish" with aunt Lorie.
(Sean thought he would get in on the picture too)

Addy fell and got a rug burn on his chin. Poor dude. Still getting used to this walking thing.

Here is Addy with my mom. He really wanted this can of pears.

Friday morning I went Black Friday shopping with my mom and sister. I've never actually done that before. I don't do 4am, but we did go around 10. It was crazy, but I got some good stuff.

After getting back from shopping, we drove to Davis where Jeremy's sister Jessica lives. Jessica and her husband Jared just adopted the sweetest baby, and now that the adoption was finalized, they got to be sealed to their baby and bless him. It was such a beautiful experience. They are wonderful parents to him.

Jared's family flew here from Germany. They are awesome people! One of my favorite moments was when Emily told Jared's brother Stefan to "stop talking like that!!" (refering to his accent... lol) We had Thanksgiving dinner with all of Jeremy's and Jared's family on Friday. Two Thanksgiving dinners in a row. Can one have too much turkey and homemade rolls? I submit they cannot.

We spent the weekend with Jeremy's family and drove all the way home after church and got home about midnight. It was kind of a whirlwind trip, but it was so fun! It was good to see our families.

(p.s. I can't believe I didn't take any pictures after I left my grandma's! Jessica, I need some pictures!!!)

(P.P.S. Today is my favorite sister Lorie's birthday!!! I love you Lorie and I am so blessed to have you for a sister!!!)

Halloween 2009

My kids were so excited for Halloween this year. My girls really really wanted new costumes. It was really about time because the last couple years I've just made them wear whatever they had lying around. I know, lame. This year, they begged and begged for me to make them new costumes. I was a little hesitant because they both wanted to be Miss Kitka. Who is Miss Kitka, you might ask? Catwoman from the 1966 version of Batman (which, if you haven't seen it, you're in for a real treat. "Holy heartbreak Batman!" "No, no. It's just one of those things... in the life of... every... crimefighter"). So anyway, I wasn't sure about making two Miss Kitka costumes. Well Liah never relented, so here is the original:

...and here is what I came up with:

She was sooo excited. Jeremy was a little shocked. Emily decided last second that she actually wanted to be Erika from Barbie's Princess and the Pauper. I was secretly relieved. Yay, my little girl wants to be a little girl for another year! A couple years ago, she was the princess from the Princess and the Pauper, and this year she was "the pauper." Here is the original:

...and my version:

I even made the girls' headbands. You may notice the serious lack of frill on Emily's Erika dress. I had to "Emily-proof" this dress. She lives in her dress-ups, and consequently trashes them (i.e. plays in the dirt, spills food, etc.). So this year she got a mostly frill-free, completely washable dress. She was thrilled, and so was I since within the hour of her wearing her new dress, she spilled applesauce all over it.

I stayed up super late making these costumes the Saturday night before I went to California because I realized the girls' school party was while I would be gone. So I decided to be a good mom and actually make them the costumes they had been begging for.

Seany's school Halloween party was on the 26th. He was a fireman again this year. I stayed with him at preschool that day because he had been so sick, but I still wanted him to get to go. He was so excited to go, but didn't really want to participate in much. He still raved about it afterward though.

Decorating cupcakes:

Decorating treat bags:

Singing their fall songs... he wouldn't sing at all and it was all I could get him to do to stand up there with the other kids. I know he knows all the songs though because he sings them at home. One of the "songs" they did is "The 5 little pumpkins." For a while, he would recite it to Addison all the time while they were "going to sleep" in their room. It was so cute to hear that over the monitors because Addy thought it was hilarious and would just laugh and laugh.

Our ward Halloween party was that night too. The kids had so much fun playing games, getting faces painted, and of course trunk-or-treating.

Addy was a cowboy for the Halloween party. When Jeremy and I were in Texas back in August, we got the boys Sheriff badges and cowboy hats at the Alamo. So that's what Addison was. I think he makes the cutest little cowboy sheriff ever.

The night before Halloween, our awesome neighbors invited us over for pumpkin carving. It was so fun! I made the wolf one. That is Emily's white pumpkin that she got from the pumpkin patch with her class. She was so excited to find a white pumpkin. And she begged for the wolf scene or the "bright night", as she calls it. I thought it turned out great. Jeremy made the one next to it, which was Liah's pumpkin that she got from her teacher. She requested that design. I didn't get a very good picture of it, which is too bad because Jeremy spent so much time on it and it really did come out well.

I made this one the next day for Sean. He really wanted a "pirate punkin," but I ran out of steam the night before. He loves it.

Halloween night, we had our neighbors over for dinner. We had our usual Halloween spread of "Yummy mummy dogs" and "Creepy yummy bug juice." This year we also added pumpkin jello jigglers (orange flavor, have no fear). Oh so healthy. Perfect right before going out and getting boat loads of candy. We did at least have salad and grapes, too. :)

Here are the kids right before going out trick-or-treating. You may notice Addison is not a cowboy in the picture. The hat kind of makes the outfit, and since he doesn't actually "wear" the hat, and he would be riding around in a stroller, it wouldn't really work to have the hat behind his back like we did at the ward party. My neighbor had given me this outfit for him, so I used it. Why not. Addy was a Raider's fan for Halloween. lol.

Poor Sean had been so sick, he hardly lasted a couple houses before he was just too tired to walk. We brought the double stroller because we planned on that happening. So he rode between most houses. It's amazing the drive the prospect of endless candy can put into kids though, even when they really don't have energy. ("Got to get the candy!!!")

Addison is FINALLY walking!!!

Up until now, Liah was my latest walker. She was just about 14 months. So I kind of set that as my deadline for Addy. "Oh, well, Liah was 14 months when she started walking, so I'm not worried. I'll let him be a baby as long as he wants." Okay, so then he was 14 months. And not walking. Not even a little bit. Oh, he could scale walls and furniture like you wouldn't believe, but no walking. No standing on his own. Nothing. It was kind of cute though, because I would try to stand him up, but he is so snuggly, all he wanted to do was give me a hug, so he wouldn't even try to stand up.

Well, when he was about a week away from turning 15 months, I decided it was time to actually "teach" him how to walk. Here is what the kids and I came up with. It's kind of funny, because when they laugh at him, he won't walk, but when they cheer for him, he is so excited. He thrives off of the praise of his brother and sisters. Which worries me a little. Not gonna lie.

Well that was a month ago (October 15). Even last week, he was only doing barely more than that. He turns 16 months old in 4 days. Just look at him go now!

Yay! He officially walks!

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(p.s. This has nothing to do with this post, but I just read this on my sister-in-law's blog and I thought it was hilarious! Anyone with little kids, or anyone for that matter will get a kick out of this. Click here.)

(Oh, yeah, Facebook friends, if you want to watch the videos, you'll have to actually visit my blog. For some reason, the videos don't show up on facebook. Here is the link: http://amymommyof4.blogspot.com)

(*Fun facts in the second video: Notice the cheese grin at the beginning when he thinks I'm taking a picture of him. And who needs a dog when you can play fetch with a baby?? No offense to dog lovers...)

Seattle

Our appointment was at 8:30am on Tuesday, so we left our other 3 kids with some wonderful friends and took Seany over to Seattle on Monday afternoon. My awesome neighbor Jeannette caught us before we left and loaned us a few movies for the road. Sean was so excited. He kept randomly saying throughout the trip "dat wa' nice a 'Nette!" Sean has now seen "Cars," and now knows who is on his favorite pajamas. :) Our room had an awesome view of the Space Needle. Sean loved it.

He also loved having his own big bed with tons of pillows.

This is Sean the morning of his appointment. He looked so peaceful and relaxed, I didn't want to wake him up!

We met with Dr. Christie. He. was. awesome. I loved how he listened to everything we said and took notes and took everything seriously. He agreed that Sean definitely has a chronic problem that he was likely born with. He suspected reflux, weak stomach muscles and inflamation of the esophagus. He also suspected, but did not rule out, that his recent diarrhea was from a recent bug, but that because of his chronic issues with his stomach, was not able to get over the vomiting like he should have. He was also shocked to hear that Sean's doctor had put him on metoclopramide for a year when he was 18 months. Apparently, it is a really strong drug, meant for adults, that with long term use in children can cause damage. Super.

He ordered X-rays of his upper GI, where Sean drinks something and the doctor watches it go down. That was scheduled for 3pm Tuesday afternoon. It was actually very fascinating to watch. The good news is that everything is anatomically correct, so there was nothing that required immediate surgery to fix. The bad news is that, just as he suspected, Sean has bad reflux. It was fascinating watching the fluid go down on the monitors, and then seeing it coming back up. Poor guy. The X-ray doctor said that if that was food, it would have made him throw up. Definitely explains all the throwing up when he was a baby. He had bad reflux. It's a little frustrating that my doctor didn't flag that as abnormal 3 1/2 years ago. FYI, if your baby throws up forcefully everything they eat EVERY TIME they eat for months, it's not normal.

The nurse gave him an iguana beanie baby, which he LOVES, and affectionately calls "Lizard." Poor guy was so tired, he passed out on the exam table when they were finishing up the X-rays.

Dr. Christie also ordered an endoscopy called an EGD. They shorten this word for a reason. It took me 5 minutes of studying this word and it's pronunciation to just be able to say it. and I've already forgotten how. Ready? I dare you to say it one time slow. Forget 3 times fast. Esophagogastroduodenoscopy. (eh-SAH-fuh-goh-GAS-troh-doo-AH-duh-NAH-skuh-pee... 26 letters!) Did your brain explode just looking at that? I know mine did. They put a tube down your throat with a tiny camera and light at the end and take pictures of the esophagus, stomach and duodenum (beginning of the small bowel).

Sean had that procedure done at 1:3o today. We had to stay overnight again, so Sean and I stayed in Seattle and Jeremy drove down to Portland after the X-rays yesterday to do his work down there. The hotel we stayed at had a complimentary shuttle to Children's so Seany and I rode over there on that, and Jeremy met us there when he got back from Portland. I felt so bad for Seany. Yesterday before he had the X-rays done, he wasn't allowed to eat or drink. So until 4:30, the poor guy had not eaten since breakfast at 7:30. Jeremy and I both waited until then to eat, too, so we wouldn't upset Seany. After the X-rays, we got him some chicken alfredo pizza and a donut from the cafeteria there because that's what he wanted. He downed it. To prepare for the EGD, after 7pm, he was only allowed to have clear liquids until 9:30 the next morning when he couldn't eat or drink until after the procedure. He was so hungry, and it hurt me beyond belief to have my skin and bones child begging me for food in public and not being able to give him any. But we were there for a reason, and I wanted the right results.

So on our shuttle over to Children's, Sean was going off about the foods he loved. "I want a popsicle and fries and ketchup." "I love pizza. Addy can't have pizza" ... "Addy can have pizza if we cut it in small pieces so he can't choke." He kept saying these things over and over. It was pretty cute to listen to him, and the driver was getting a kick out of it. He talked about food the whole way over there. When we got there, I took him in the gift shop and bought him a little "Blue Angels" fighter jet. He was so excited. He flew it around for a half an hour until it was finally time to check in. He was a good sport. Although when they put the mask on him to put him under, he was not thrilled. In fact he hated it, but his crying helped him to fall asleep in less than 10 seconds.

Dr. Christie did the EGD, and took biopsies from the stomach and colon (he also put the camera in there). He also drew blood while Sean was asleep. After the procedure, he came out to tell us his initial findings. He showed us pictures from the endoscopy. He has severe inflamation in his esophagus, the upper muscles of his stomach are weak and the flap valve (sorry, I have no idea what the technical term is) is loose. Essentially, that is causing his stomach to not keep the food down like it should. So far that is what we know. Sean has esophagitis with severe reflux. He prescribed him a drug that should control the reflux. We will have the results from the biopsies and bloodwork in about a week and a half. Among other things, he is testing the biopsies for food allergies, so we will know more next week if further testing is necessary. So for right now, he is going on the new drug, and we will see how it does. The saddest part? Sean has been banned from tomato products because of his reflux. i.e. ketchup, pizza sauce, etc. That hurt a little. I haven't broken it to him that he can't have his two favorite foods. Remember what he talked about the whole way there? Fortunately, he did absolutely love that alfredo pizza yesterday, and so far, that hasn't been banned.

When Sean started waking up, they let me go back and hold him because he was crying, even though he was still mostly out. He looked so pitiful with all those wires hooked up to him. He had a fat lip from being intubated. (They intubated him also because of his history of vomiting.) It took him a minute, but he settled down when I was holding him. Still out like a light though. Didn't help that it was nap time either. He eventually woke up when I asked him if I could eat his popsicle. I fed him his popsicle, and when he kept it down, they let me get him dressed and take him home. He slept most of the way home. He woke up about 20 minutes away from home saying he was hungry, so we got him a milkshake and he was so happy with that.

This is Sean after he came out of the procedure. He wanted the wheelchair and everything. You can tell how tired he is. Poor guy.

I can't tell you how thankful I am to my friends that took care of my kids while I was gone. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It was such a relief to not have to worry about that, knowing that my kids were in good hands. I'm so thankful for all of the prayers and fasting for us. I know that is why things have gone so well.

I also feel very relieved that my concerns were listened to, taken seriously and validated. Also that it isn't anything more serious. I kept thinking that there were so many children in that hospital much more sick than my son. Yes, it's bad, but it could always be worse. I'm so glad it's not.